*retrieved 27 march 2011 at http://thestar.com.my/lifestyle/story.aspfile=/2011/3/27/lifefocus/8171053&sec=lifefocus
The lost husband
By SERENITY
SHE was a waitress, he a GM. She was 21 years his junior.
I did not find out about the affair. He confessed. Why? I guessed he did not want to feel guilty for cheating. But he did not care about hurting me. He said he would not leave this family but if I could not accept the affair, I could leave. I accepted it because alone, I would not be able to provide for the children.
I asked him what was wrong in our marriage. He said I was a good wife but he could get so much pleasure from a young girl and he could not live without her. To keep her for himself, he asked her to stop work and maintained her fully with a car and apartment. I still had to work for this family. He bought me a car too, only because he now had no time for me and the children.
I was devastated. I stabbed myself. He said, “You want to die. Why don’t you stab deeper? Now, you can’t die.” He laughed and left me bleeding.
He changed completed. He never used to scold me but then started using foul words even if I just mentioned her name. He used to be home every night for dinner with the family, but after that, we would have dinner only on birthdays or once in two or three months.
He no longer comes come home every night, and when he does, it is late at night. On Sundays, he rushes off after breakfast to do the marketing for her and their son.
I have kept this secret from my friends and family but his family (especially his mother) welcomed her with open arms. Birds of a feather flock together is all I can say of him and his family.
He continues to come home, out of guilt. He continues to provide for us, out of a sense of responsibility. But when he is home, it is just an empty shell. You can see from his face, his heart is not with us. She calls him and he calls her. It hurt in the beginning, but it does not matter anymore. I have lived like this for 15 years and my heart has stopped bleeding. I went through hell in the past.
I lost my husband but I gained insight into life. I learned to forgive. I try to be amicable whenever he comes home. I want peace in my life now. I can erase the pain, I can stop the tears, but the scars from the stabbing remain. Forgiving is one thing, forgetting is another.
Now as I reflect, I count my blessings. I still have a roof over my head. I have an old junk that can still ferry me around. I have a part-time job to subsidise my EPF savings for my living. I am in good health. I still have him in times of need, but my most blessed consolation is my children. Now that they are grown, they understand and love me very much for all that I have gone through. And I thank them.
After reading this, i really feel sorry for her, she has been went through a difficult stage in life. But her spirit never die, she is strong, she able to stand with it for so long, imagine 15 years! her husband is with another girl and what can she do? she is a good mother & a good wife, i really salute her. Although she lost a husband, but she gained the love from her children which she deserved for.i love this sentence "Forgiving is one thing, forgetting is another", how she going to forget all these? anyways, wish she will live happily, never look back =)
